On today’s episode of ‘Things Nobody Asked For,’ filmmaker Michael Moore has done America the favor of rewriting the Pledge of Allegiance.
In a post from his Substack account, Moore couldn’t help but surround his call for unity with potshots at America’s “insanity” and the “MAGA-heads” that put President Donald Trump back into the White House.
“What if we all took a new pledge? For you. For me. For the people and for the country that deep down — in spite of its MAGA-heads, in spite of its insanity — we’ve decided to fight for its survival, holding onto a belief that we can make it better, that we can fix it, that we can end the madness and create a true Democracy for which it stands,” he wrote.
The pledge itself is just as cringey as you can imagine:
“I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE
TO THE PEOPLE
OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
AND TO THE DEMOCRACY
FOR WHICH WE ALL STAND:ONE PERSON,
ONE VOTE,ONE NATION,
PART OF ONE WORLD,ADVERTISEMENTEVERYONE!
A SEAT AT THE TABLE!
EVERYONE!
A SLICE OF THE PIE!WITH LIBERTY
AND JUSTICE,EQUALITY
AND KINDNESS,AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS
FOR ALL.”
Needless to say, X users had plenty of opinions on Moore’s unsolicited changes:
Like he’d ever have only 1 slice of the pie, gimme a break!
— Joe Sylva (@joesylva) June 4, 2025
Sorry. Not one world. We are a sovereign nation and not part of any global government.
— griffitovic (@griffitovic) June 4, 2025
Who does Moore think he is? A washed up Hollywood director? The founding fathers were very thoughtful, foresighted, insightful and embraced the sovereignty and providence of God.
— RoadLessTravelled (@RoadLess123) June 4, 2025
Was it just me, or am I the only one who noticed he made sure to include giving himself a slice of pie? Figures. Funny how this comes from a man who spews such hate and contempt for anyone who doesn’t think like him. smh
— cooks (@cooks612) June 4, 2025
NO. Request denied.
— Michael Lesko (@MichaelLesko9) June 4, 2025
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Sierra Marlee is a millennial whose hunger for the truth in a world of fake news has led her to write. Marlee also contributes to BizPac Review.
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