Meet Whitey Taylor, the owner of a Trump-themed store in Virginia that sells everything Trump-related, including Trump’s balls.
Trump Town USA is the name of the store in Boones Mill, and it’s located in a decommissioned church building that now serves as a veritable shrine to former President Donald Trump.
“It’s like the Cave of Wonders from the movie Aladdin, except with more references to butts, poop and pee,” CNN reported Tuesday.
“A bumper sticker shows a cartoon Trump urinating on ‘Putin.’ A keychain can be squeezed to make a tiny Trump defecate. ‘Moonie Trump’ figurines depict the former president mischievously showing his naked backside,” according to CNN.
“There were prints of a painting showing Trump addressing reporters who were dressed like clowns, dart boards with Biden’s face, floral aprons with ‘Trump 2024’ embroidered on them, Trump baby onesies, Trump clocks, a ‘Trump Train’ flag, an ‘America First’ flag and a flag that blended the American and Israeli flag. And then there’s a flag of the American Stars and Stripes being pulled upward by a muscular arm to reveal a Confederate flag behind it.”
And then there are Trump’s “yuge” balls: “The most spectacular specimens are in the back right corner: pairs of silvery, veiny metal testicles hanging from a ring and wrapped in protective clear plastic.”
Not as popular but also for sale are items denigrating President Joe Biden, Vice President Kamala Harris, and the Democrat Party.
“They [his customers] like the slogan — they like to read it,” Taylor said of the gear. “[But] they won’t wear it.”
Take a piece of merchandise with a picture of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton behind bars.
“They would say, ‘I don’t want that b-tch’s picture on my back,’” Taylor explained.
That’s an understandable sentiment.
The most popular items in his store are the ones directly related to Trump, though they tend to have a short lifespan.
“Trump’s mugshot from his criminal case in Fulton County, Georgia – available on T-shirts, yard signs, flags, and, of course, mugs – was ‘really hot’ for about two months, Taylor said, before sales began to cool off,” CNN explained.
The same thing happened with his “Let’s Go Brandon” merchandise — it started out hot but eventually petered out as the political trends changed.
As for where Taylor gets his stuff, it’s from basically everywhere across the country, including from mom-and-pop shops like one out in Greensboro, North Carolina — where one man designed canned “AOC Brand Cow Farts.”
“This old guy spent $25,000 in Greensboro having that label made and all, then he passes away,” Taylor explained. “His wife calls me – she says, ‘You want all these cow farts? … Please come and get them out of my garage.’ I said, ‘OK, I’ll come get ‘em.”
But like other non-Trump-related gear, they didn’t sell well, though thankfully, new best sellers emerge all the time.
“The more the Democrats talk about MAGA crazy people, then, you know, something will spin off of it,” Taylor explained.
Labor Day in
Trump Town, USA pic.twitter.com/GvTSgd8Co9— Chotknotjelly (@RealVictorHuds1) September 7, 2021
So how did Taylor get started selling Trump gear? Flashback to 2016, when he was reportedly selling racing merch at the Daytona 500 when he decided to pray to God for guidance.
“My son said, ‘Dad, what’s God telling us?’ It came in my spirit: ‘He wants me to help Trump,’” Taylor recalled, adding that his son responded by bursting out laughing.
He then decided to start by ordering 1,000 Trump-themed t-shirts, despite his son begging him to just start with 100.
“I said, ‘Go big or go home, boy.’ I said, ‘If God’s telling me, we’ll sell every one of ‘em, and if not, we’ll throw ‘em in the trash can and leave,'” Taylor recalled.
His first-ever sale was of a white T-shirt that said “Donald Trump: Finally someone with balls” on the back of it.
“I became known as ‘the Balls Man’ on the tour,” Taylor said, adding that if he skipped a campaign rally, other merchants would report kids showing up asking them, “Where’s the Balls Man?”
As for Taylor’s customers, they’re frustrated working-class Americans who believe President Biden is destroying the country and that only Trump can save it.
Take Dale Copeland, a customer who’s afraid another economic crisis like the Great Recession is on its way.
“I lost everything I had,” he said of the previous recession. “I barely survived … This is leading up to the same thing again. So, it’s coming. The downfall is coming.”
Like others, he’s confident only Trump can save the day.
“He said he did brick and concrete work for a living in North Carolina, and his own business had been busy the last few years,” CNN notes. “But the economy had been tougher for his adult children, who he said would struggle to afford a home and car and were ‘more poor than what they should be.'”
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V. Saxena is a staff writer with a decade of experience as a professional writer, and a lifetime of experience as an avid news junkie. He holds a degree in computer technology from Purdue University. Saxena also contributes to BizPac Review.
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