FBI will reportedly adopt ‘LGBTQIA+ acronym’ at behest of one of their ‘nine Diversity Advisory Committees’

Proving once again that its priorities have swung like a rainbow-colored wrecking ball away from its mission to “protect and defend the United States against terrorist and foreign intelligence threats” and “to uphold and enforce the criminal laws of the United States,” the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) issued a statement announcing that it is adding extra letters to the alphabet soup that is LGTB+ inclusivity.

Fear not that the President of the United States and his son are being accused of potentially treasonous acts or that people on the actual terrorist watchlist are entering the country across open borders, the FBI is now tacking “IA” onto the “LGTBQ+” acronym, so no one feels left out when the nation crumbles.

Podcaster and self-described “Recovering FBI Agent” Kyle Seraphin leaked an email to all FBI employees from what is reported to be the bureau’s Office of Diversity and Inclusion on X.

“The FBI has officially adopted the LGBTQIA+ acronym in place of LGBT+,” the email read. “This change was proposed by Bureau Equality, one of our nine Diversity Advisory Committees, and approved by FBI executive management to help promote a more welcoming workplace for members of our LGBTQIA+ community.”

“LGBTQIA+ stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, Asexual/Aromantic, plus,” the FBI explains. “The ‘+’ represents other gender, sexual, and romantic identities not covered by the letters of the acronym.”

Like so many mass shooters, “Diversity and Inclusion at the FBI” has long been on the bureau’s radar.

“In 2015, the FBI added diversity as one of the organization’s core values,” the agency proudly states on its website. “We know that a more diverse workforce allows us to connect with and maintain the trust of the American people.”

“Imagine getting your house raided by the cast of ‘Glee,'” quipped one user on X.

“Apparently the FBI has 9 diversity committees,” wrote commentator David Marcus, “no wonder there was nobody available to investigate Hunter Biden.”

Libs of TikTok founder Chaya Raichik is “So relieved that when the FBI chases down moms at school board meetings, at least their pronouns will be respected by the officers.”

“Nine is a lot of committees!” noted Elon Musk.

But the FBI insists the updated acronym is no laughing matter.

“More than 30 federal agencies, including the Department of Justice, use a form of the expanded acronym,” it told employees. “Effective immediately, the FBI will use LGBTQIA+ for all internal events, observances, and communications; all U.S. Intelligence Community products; and all external communications (social media posts, public reports, public announcements, etc.).”

At least FBI Director Christopher Wray will be pleased.

“One of the FBI’s priority initiatives is to build a high-performing, diverse, and inclusive workforce,” he is quoted as saying on the agency’s website. “We all make better decisions when we have the benefit of different perspectives.”

According to the bureau’s Chief Diversity Officer, Scott McMillion, “The FBI’s efforts to diversify are crucial to creating an inclusive workforce and to being increasingly effective and efficient in our investigations and keeping the American public safe.”

“Finally,” wrote one user on X, “the FBI is worried about real issues!”

Melissa Fine

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