Whip-wielding Florida woman, 56, arrested for STABBING minivan with a pitchfork

Everyone has their bad days, but one “highly intoxicated” Florida woman may just take the cake.

Lisa Slone, 56, was cuffed in a Publix parking lot where she had been seen carrying around a pitchfork and a whip. She allegedly used the pitchfork to pierce the side of a minivan, though the driver later indicated that he was willing to pay for the damages himself and did not want to get authorities involved.

According to a police report from the Florida Highway Patrol obtained by the New York Post, Slone was ordered to put down the pitchfork and whip by a trooper, but she refused to comply. The cops used force to place her under arrest, and after being put in the backseat of a patrol cruiser, the suspect reportedly unbuckled her seatbelt and began kicking the rear window. At this point, she was placed in a “hobble,” which limits the hand and feet movements of a suspect who is being detained.

A manager at the store said Slone was seen earlier in the day trying to sell stuffed animals at the same location. It’s not clear if the two events were related.

Noticing that Slone was covered in cuts and bruises all over her body and face, officers inquired as to how she’d come by such injuries. Per the report, Slone responded that, “she felt no pain anymore and that God was in control.” A trooper on the call noted that Slone “appeared to be highly intoxicated on some sort of stimulant drug, but did not have any odor of alcoholic beverage.”

She has been charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill, which is a third-degree felony in the state of Florida. Slone was arrested in the past for petit theft as well as probation violation.

Social media had quite a bit to say about the woman’s antics: (** Language warning)


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