A lesbian couple’s hierarchy of hubris seemingly put Hamas ahead of their own desire to have a child with the sperm donor they’d vetted over particular “parts of [his] identity.”
A South African-born, Australian-raised, gay Jewish sperm donor may read like the results of an elaborate Mad Libs, but it accurately described 37-year-old Jay Lazarus. Out of all his descriptors, there was only one that had prompted previously willing donees to sever ties and moved him to assert that “Antisemitism is not just a relic of the past but a living, breathing prejudice that continues today.”
Earlier in the week, Lazarus took to social media to share his story of how in Oct. 2022 he had decided to be a sperm donor for same-sex couples expecting nothing in return. In the process, he described that he had. “connected deeply with a couple from Queensland” and he had “committed to helping them achieve their dream.”
In Australia, the “intense” process required months of testing, both medical and emotional, along with a requirement that he maintain optimal health. By Sept. 2023, he was cleared to donate to the couple who months later terminated their relationship, specifically citing the war with Hamas.
Lazarus included screenshots of the text message the lesbian couple had sent him from Dec. 9 where they wrote, “We are down a rabbit hole with the depth of our emotions and the ethical challenges. And truth be told we feel out of our depth proceeding.”
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Speaking with the New York Post, the Perth-based hairdresser detailed how in joining the Facebook group to advance the family goals of same-sex couples he had been prepared to take on a role as “uncle” or have zero contact with the child, whatever the couple’s preference was. He certainly hadn’t expected there to be an issue with his faith which they had known from the start.
The couple had stated they they were “deeply affected by the world events at the moment, particularly the war between Israel and Gaza,” and went on to add “We don’t have the capacity to navigate parts of your identity in this donor relationship so we are respectfully ending this now.”
“…this couple preferred to go back to Square One of the sperm donor process rather than accept my Jewish sperm,” remarked Lazarus on social media.
Whether they had balked at his heritage or the challenges that their child could potentially face sharing in his lineage, the couple did empathize with the donor and said, “We cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through with your heritage and deep beliefs. We are so sorry for everything that is happening.”
He went on to tell the Post that he has only had “supportive comments” after he deliberated over sharing his story, despite no comments on the post itself, and that the couple had since messaged him, but he delayed reading it believing it could anger him while celebrating a friend’s wedding over the weekend.
Ultimately, he asserted, “Prejudice is still persuasive, even in progressive circles that champion ‘kindness and love.’ We are living in an era with disturbing echoes from the ideologies of racial purity that once fuelled the Holocaust — lineage free from Jewishness. Antisemitism is not just a relic of the past but a living, breathing prejudice that continues today.”
“I’m proud to be gay, proud to be Jewish, and proud to stand against hate,” added Lazarus.
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