News/Commentary

CBS learns the hard way Americans STILL don’t want to eat bugs: ‘Shove them up your a**!’

May 11, 2024 | | Print Article

When “trillions of cicadas” emerge at once, don’t get grumpy.

Get hungry.

It’s the message CBS News attempted to push on social media because getting Americans to eat bugs seems really important to the progressive elites.

“You deserve a treat – and this spring, Mother Nature is providing a seemingly endless supply,” declared the outlet on X. “Here are some cicada recipes to try.”

“Trillions of cicadas are emerging from the ground after a years-long absence,” the attached article states, “and any one of them could be part of your next meal.”

But first, you have to catch the little morsels.

“Retired chef Jim Warner, the former program director of culinary outreach at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, said it’s best to gather your cicadas for consumption from a wooded area away from homes,” CBS News reports. “Getting them from yards and lawns isn’t advised as they may have absorbed pesticides, lawn chemicals or other contaminants.”

Yummy.

You want to stalk the insects because, according to Warner, cicadas “are at their most tender just out of the shell.”

“The tough exoskeleton is not very tasty,” he advised his peckish readers.

When the cicadas “climb up a tree and begin to molt from their outer shell,” would-be chefs should snatch them up and chuck them into boiling water, “then put them into a zip-lock bag and place them in the freezer before preparing them to cook,” Warner said.

Super, super yummy.

Or not.

“I ate a big once,” one user on X told CBS. “By accident. While riding on the back of a motorcycle. But on purpose? Dude, there ain’t enough tequila in the world to make that happen.”

“I just threw up,” announced another user.

Some thoughtful users provided CBS with their own recipes.

“My favorite cicada recipe is to feed them to a chicken, then eat the chicken,” one user said.

“Here… try this,” suggested another. “5 Cicadas; 8 ounces of Avocado Oil;  A pinch of Adobo and Lemon Pepper. Mix all of this in a bowl until everything looks to be evenly covered.

“Now you can shove them up your a** one by one if you think this is going to catch on.”


Yet another X user wondered if CBS was familiar with health codes.

Melissa Fine
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