Apparently, human beings aren’t the only ones who have the urge to party.
The first thing that the employees of a Virginia liquor store noticed after returning to work following their Thanksgiving holiday was a bunch of destroyed bottles on the ground. More than two-dozen bottles, in fact, with their liquid contents creating sticky puddles across the floor. But what kind of boozy bandit would make such a mess?
But the investigation was over almost as soon as it began, when a passed-out raccoon was found in the store’s bathroom.
The Hanover County Animal Protection and Shelter made a post about the hilarious incident on Facebook, complete with pictures.
“On Saturday morning, Officer Martin responded to an unusual call at the Ashland ABC Store. Upon arrival, she discovered the “suspect” had broken in, ransacked several shelves, and then… passed out in the bathroom. The suspect? A very intoxicated raccoon,” the group wrote. “Officer Martin safely secured our masked bandit and transported him back to the shelter to sober up before questioning. After a few hours of sleep and zero signs of injury (other than maybe a hangover and poor life choices), he was safely released back to the wild, hopefully having learned that breaking and entering is not the answer.”
“A big shout-out to Officer Martin for handling this chaotic scene with professionalism and good humor. Just another day in the life at Hanover Animal Protection!”
X users had a lot to say about the hilarious story:
Now that is my spirit animal.
— AP on (@AntiPar2ival) December 2, 2025
Too bad he didn’t tell us which one he liked the most.
— Shelly VR Warrior (@Shellzonit) December 3, 2025
It definitely knew where to vomit after being drunk.
Animals are pretending not to be human
— Mzwakhe (@One_pieceRSA) December 3, 2025
The raccoon has a lot in common with my last girlfriend.
— The Buzzing Fly (@Silent97Percent) December 3, 2025
Wild nights in Virginia even raccoons know where the good stuff is.
— DesiDaaru (@kadaktharra_) December 3, 2025
He didn’t pay for a single drink and still got the full VIP experience
— ZA (@za_lady1) December 3, 2025
Lil bro clocked in for happy hour and never clocked out
— DΞGΞNΞROUS (@degnzx) December 3, 2025
And it was released on no charges. This justice system is broken! pic.twitter.com/Qd84bmEzn4
— gekoft (@gekoft) December 2, 2025
You go on one good bender like this then lock in for 3 weeks straight, he’ll be alright.
— 3000PiMPs (@Pimpfordays) December 3, 2025
Bro went straight for the hard stuff
— Jay G (@JayG80934989674) December 3, 2025
Writers and editors can be contacted at [email protected] with feedback, tips, or corrections.
Sierra Marlee is a millennial whose hunger for the truth in a world of fake news has led her to write. Marlee also contributes to BizPac Review.
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