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Shane Gillis delivers epic ESPYs opening monologue and no one is safe

July 17, 2025 | | Print Article

Comic Shane Gillis delivered an epic opening monologue at Wednesday’s ESPYs, skewering sports icons including Caitlin Clark and NFL quarterback Aaron Rodgers as well as President Donald J. Trump while also slipping in a joke about Jeffrey Epstein.

The MAGA favorite was tapped to host this year’s edition of  “woke” cable sports network’s ESPN’s Excellence in Sports Performance Yearly awards, and the star of Netflix’s comedy series “Tires” spared nobody.

Some of the more memorable zingers included one about the WNBA superstar who has become a punching bag for the women’s pro-basketball league’s jealous black players.

“When Caitlin Clark retires from the WNBA, she’s going to work at a Waffle House so she can continue doing what she loves most: fist fighting black women,” Gillis joked.

He also roasted the future NFL Hall of Famer and COVID jab critic who spent the last two years with the New York Jets, a forgettable period on the one-time Super Bowl winner’s resume.

“Aaron Rodgers did not take the vaccine because he predicted that it would be bad for him, and then he joined the New York Jets. So maybe he wasn’t right about everything,” the comic joked.

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Rodgers has since moved on, recently signing a contract with the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Gillis ventured into the political realm with a joke about the so-called “insurrection” on January 6, 2021 and Trump’s idea to hold a UFC cage match on the White House lawn next year as part of the celebration of the nation’s 250th birthday, following it up with a line about the controversy over the Justice Department’s handling of the mysterious Epstein files.

“Donald Trump wants to stage a UFC fight on the White House lawn. The last time he staged a fight in D.C., Mike Pence almost died,” he said, drawing uneasy laughter from the crowd at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles before segueing into a joke about the notorious deceased sex trafficker.

“There was supposed to be an Epstein joke here, but I guess it got deleted,” Gillis joked. “Probably deleted itself, right? Probably never existed, actually. Let’s move on as a country and ignore that.”

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In another joke, Gillis took a shot at podcasting giant Joe Rogan and mixed in a barb about Trump’s deportation policies.

“Joe Rogan actually wanted me to be here to host this award show so that I could capture Adam Silver because Joe thinks he’s an alien,” he said, referring to the odd appearance of the NBA commissioner.

“And Donald Trump wanted me to be here to capture Juan Soto for the same reason,” added Gillis, a reference to Dominican New York Mets star outfielder Juan Soto, who was booed by at least one member of the audience.

Gillis also honored Norm Macdonald, who hosted the show in 1998, reworking one of the late comic’s jokes for modern times.

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“Travis Hunter won the Heisman Trophy this year,” he said. ”He’s the first defensive player since Charles Woodson to win the Heisman. Congratulations, Travis Hunter, winning the Heisman, that’s something they can never take away from you. Unless you kill your wife and a waiter, in which case, they can take that away from you.”

The host was, of course, referring to O.J. Simpson, who never fulfilled his vow to find the “real killers” of his former wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her male friend, who were butchered in 1994 in Los Angeles.

It was a monologue for the ages.

Chris Donaldson
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