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Drew Barrymore dispels rumors that she ‘hates sex,’ explains why she has been celibate since 2016

October 17, 2022 | | Print Article

An honest reaction to a story of abstinence led actress Drew Barrymore to reveal her thoughts on intimacy and why she has been celibate for years after being accused of hating sex.

At 47, the single mother and host of a daytime talk show has admittedly lived a “very rich full life,” but her reaction to an actor’s preparation for a role garnered an unexpected reaction. During a September broadcast of “The Drew Barrymore Show,” the host found out that Andrew Garfield had abstained from sex for six months in preparation for his role as a Jesuit priest in the 2016 film, “Silence.”

“What’s wrong with me that six months doesn’t seem like a very long time?” she reacted. “I was like, ‘Yeah so?”

As it turned out, that candid remark lead some to believe that the actress hates sex and she devoted the latest entry of her blog to explaining her adopted philosophy that “Sex is not love! It is the expression of love.”

“Some people can get out of a marriage or relationship and in the near future find themselves in another relationship. There is nothing wrong with that! Not one bit. I do not judge! I celebrate their journey! Because for some people that really works,” Barrymore wrote. “It didn’t work for me. I needed to stay very celibate and honoring and in some sort of state of mourning of the loss of a nuclear family that I swore I would have for my daughters and to find grace and acceptance and what our new normal of a blended family would be.”

After four years, the actress ended her third and longest marriage to Will Kopelman, the father of her two daughters, Olive and Frankie, in 2016.

“It took time. I’m proud of myself that I took that time. That’s what I, as my own individual and no one else just me, needed to do an I honored that and I respect myself for it, as I respect anyone else for their choices,” she explained of her choice to remain celibate in the six years since her divorce. “I have just simply come to laugh about the fact that it is not my personal priority to be with a partner, but that doesn’t mean it won’t become one someday. I need time. And my view on sex has truly changed.”

Expressing how in the past the lack of “role model parents” led to her acting “in grown up ways since a tender age,” Barrymore said that she did not regret her past, but was thankful for the new lens her therapist had given her to perceive intimacy through.

“I’ve come to realize through working in therapy (with Barry), he said something I had to write it down. He said, ‘Sex is not love! It is the expression of love.’ I have searched my whole life to have words like that to help me understand the difference and now,” the actress confessed, “thanks to him, I do.”

“So for the record, I do not hate sex! I have just finally come to the epiphany that love and sex are simply not the same thing I searched my whole life for,” she concluded in part, “which is to be a calm woman and not a bombastic party girl. Also, when you grow up and are in a marriage with kids and you think you’ll only be with this one person for the rest of your life and then that doesn’t happen? It rocked me to my core, to put it lightly. But I am lucky enough to have my cup runneth over in the love department: I have my two daughters, and for the first time ever in my life, I’m actually including self-love, too.”

Kevin Haggerty
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