Op-ed views and opinions expressed are solely those of the author.
Disney’s remake of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs has been in the news recently for its decision to cast Rachel Zegler, a Latina actress who starred in the recent remake of West Side Story, as well as the decision to eliminate the characters of the dwarfs. Game of Thrones star, Peter Dinklage, criticized Disney for what he felt was being progressive by casting Zegler, but objected to the use of dwarfs in the remake. Zeglar, a Colombian-American actress, has stated she will not bleach her skin, so it will be interesting to see how Disney plans on changing the story, given the title is about a character whose name was Snow White basically because of her appearance that is described as “having skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood and hair as black as ebony.”
The solution to the dwarf problem is simple, just change the title to Snow White, and when she runs away, there are numerous woke choices of 7 individuals she can encounter. The big problem here is the color “white” in the title. Snow “Off-White” just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Also, the issue is with snow, which falls and is white, until ages or is invaded by dogs. Perhaps the snowflakes in the story can be made to look tan due to global warming? Or the snowflakes can just identify as tan. Disney’s embrace of wokism means that nothing is safe from change, and since the woke doctrine of anyone being able to identify as anything, that is the escape clause for any changes that Disney executives make regarding their new brand of woke tales.
Personally, I don’t know too many people who find the color of pure white to be an appealing skin color. When we were kids how many children would choose to color with the white crayon? A pure white skin color is more likely to be the color of zombies or perhaps the Night King’s complexion on Game of Thrones. However, woke individuals could make the argument that Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, written by the Brothers Grimm, is another example of “white” supremacy, since her white skin color is depicted as what contributes to her beauty in the story.
Anyone who tunes into the daily news know that wokeness is all about creating a kinder gentler world with safe spaces and elimination of micro-aggressions. It is a place where everyone is safe from criticism and systemic racism is the root of all evil. Rationalization is a key tool for surviving in the woke world, and even contradictions are overlooked. In other words, it’s okay to appropriate a gender, but don’t dare wear the clothing of a culture that is not your own or you risk being canceled.
So we need to address the issues of what to do with the dreaded, politically incorrect dwarfs, as well as the title and a darker skinned Snow White. Here is one suggestions that allows Disney to keep the red lips and black hair description:
Sun Tan and the 7 Trans Victims: This could be a really easy fix for the creatives at Disney, as you could have a pale woman who purchases spray on tan to look more attractive because everyone knows we all look better with a tan. The dwarf characters would be replaced by transgendered characters, with names that promote wokism: Fluid, Marginalized, Oppressed, Intersectional, Inclusive, Diverse and Nonbinary, and since they are woke, they can swap or adopt new woke names that include: Cancel, Toxic, Socially Aware, White Wash etc. Casting these parts will be really easy, as producers would only have to choose from those who use Tik Tok on a daily basis. Sure having the transgendered characters change their names on every other page would make the story confusing and very hard to read, but as long as the story becomes woke, that’s all that matters. The writers will have to come up with a lot of brand new pronouns to make these characters happy and pacify their woke patrons. The Wicked Queen should be changed to a Cis-gendered, republican male (Ted Cruz comes to mind) because we all know that straight white guys are the destroyers of the world.
Yet, there is still an older issue that will rear its ugly head and must be addressed by the Disney fairy tale revisionists: Prince Charming’s kiss of Snow White without her consent. According to some, this encourages the rape culture and some activists have gone so far as to call Prince Charming a sexual predator. I guess those critics would also have an issue with giving someone mouth to mouth resuscitation to save a life since an unconscious person can’t give consent. However, with that aside, what would be an acceptable way to bring Snow White back to life, that wouldn’t violate her and be in line with woke thinking? He could read her passages from The Communist Manifesto or 1619 Project, which trigger her desire to live in a world of equity and inclusion. He could also apologize to her for his past micro-aggressions and vow to spend the rest of his life being politically correct. The woke possibilities are endless.
Once the vitally important to national security that will be accomplished with the writing of Snow White has been settled, Disney can move on to other projects and revise them as well. We’ve already seen a revised version of Cinderella, which bombed at the box office, but perhaps they didn’t go far enough to appease their woke audience. Cinderella is already oppressed, but it’s due to the nature of her issues with her stepmother. This could be changed to eliminating the Step Mother Character and making her oppressor the systemic racism of the kingdom and merge the story with 1984. Big Mother is Watching and could oppress Cinderella with a large telescreen. The step sisters would become the thought police and instead of her preparing for the ball, Cinderella enlists the aid of her Trans Godperson to create an army and fight a worker’s revolution against the prince with a foot fetish. Perhaps the title could be changed to Che Guevearella.
Before Disney is done going full woke, don’t be surprised to see many childhood favorites edited to reflect the woke culture and the offenses that they seek to correct. Sleeping Beauty could be offensive to people with narcolepsy, the 3 Little Pigs ends with the murder of the wolf and murder is also the resolution to Hansel and Gretel (new title: Hansel and Regrettal). Since criminals (like the wolf and old witch) are now embraced by woke ideology, the stories will now reflect on institutional issues that made them that way because it’s not their fault that wolves want to eat pigs, or witches have acquired the taste for children. The story, The Ugly Duckling, is all about body shaming and discrimination, so that must also be revised, and the list is endless for those who would rather complain about fairytales than find a job.
The one thing for sure is that those who contemplate all the ridiculous notions and actually make an issue of the wording, character names, titles and other aspects of classic, time honored tales, obviously have too much time on their hands.
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