Soy boys with manbuns have long been mocked as the end of masculinity by Conservatives, but a trailer for Tucker Carlson’s new documentary on that very subject is raising eyebrows and sparking snark on social media for its generous use of shirtless, sweaty hunks working out, wrestling, and, apparently, tanning their testicles.
Yes, testicle tanning. Naked. On a rocky cliff.
“I promise you are not prepared for Tucker’s latest montage,” tweeted Nikki McCann Ramirez.
I promise you are not prepared for Tucker's latest montage pic.twitter.com/8tdvYTW2cn
— nikki mccann ramírez (@NikkiMcR) April 16, 2022
Carlson’s Tucker Carlson Originals, a series of documentaries on a variety of subjects, airs on Fox Nation, the streaming service of Fox News.
On Friday, Carlson gave a sneak peek of the upcoming Season 2 installments, including a trailer for “The End of Men,” which focuses on the decline of testosterone levels among American men.
“One of the biggest stories of our lifetime is the total collapse of testosterone levels in American men,” Carlson said Friday. “Those levels are declining by roughly 10 percent per decade, completely changing the way people are at the most fundamental level. The NIH doesn’t seem interested in this at all. ‘It’s not a big deal.'”
“We think it is a huge deal,” Carlson continued, “so we wanna know what’s causing it and what we can do about it.”
Scorn swiftly followed, with one user tweeting, “This may be more autobiographical.”
Many likened the trailer to homo-erotica as they brutally slammed Carlson’s “fantasies.”
“I am sitting here next to my gay husband living my gay life reading a gay novel as research for my new gay book… and yet I am not and will never be as gay as whatever is haunting Tucker Carlson’s fantasies,” tweeted Mark Harris.
Actor George Hahn asked, “You guys wanna see something gayer than a parade float on a Sunday in June?”
“Nothing says chiseled homoerotic masculinity like human bowtie Tucker Carlson,” said investigative journalist Justin Ling.
I am sitting here next to my gay husband living my gay life reading a gay novel as research for my new gay book…and yet I am not and will never be as gay as whatever is haunting Tucker Carlson's fantasies. https://t.co/wU05PVIrfG
— Mark Harris (@MarkHarrisNYC) April 16, 2022
You guys wanna see something gayer than a parade float on a Sunday in June? pic.twitter.com/hjQTRl5ZW1
— George Hahn (@georgehahn) April 16, 2022
nothing says chiseled homoerotic masculinity like human bowtie Tucker Carlson https://t.co/LNjJj6jKGA
— Justin Ling (@Justin_Ling) April 16, 2022
As funny as the responses to Carlson’s trailer may be, the subject matter is no laughing matter.
In February 2021, Mt. Sinai Medical School epidemiologist Shanna Swan found that total sperm count in the West plummeted a staggering 59% between the years of 1973 and 2011, Axios reported at the time.
Swan cited falling testosterone levels and a rise in testicular cancer and warned that the average man could find himself without any viable sperm by 2045.
“If you look at the curve on sperm count and project it forward — which is always risky — it reaches zero in 2045,” she stated.
But, apparently, it’s hard for some to concentrate on the end of the human species when you’re staring at a naked guy getting his groin lit up.
“Can anyone explain why the naked man is getting his d–k lasered by a giant iphone?” asked Cenk Uygur. “It has a Marsellus Wallace vibe to it, except they’re taking out the soul from his junk. There’s some chance Tucker is trolling his own audience because there’s gay porn less gay than this.”
Can anyone explain why the naked man is getting his dick lasered by a giant iphone? It has a Marsellus Wallace vibe to it, except they're taking out the soul from his junk. There's some chance Tucker is trolling his own audience because there's gay porn less gay than this. https://t.co/pqNFtK55kA
— Cenk Uygur (@cenkuygur) April 16, 2022
Indeed, as Mediaite points out, “The End of Many” does suggest “testicle tanning” as a way to up those testosterone levels.
In a clip from the documentary, Carlson interviews fitness professional Andrew McGovern, who promotes the use of letting your privates bask in the sun and under red lights.
In his new special on how to raise testosterone levels in men, Tucker Carlson’s guest suggests “testicle tanning” using infrared light as a “bromeopathic” therapy. pic.twitter.com/PirerBMRyr
— Ron Filipkowski 🇺🇦 (@RonFilipkowski) April 17, 2022
“If you want to optimize and take it to another level, expose yourself to red light therapy–” McGovern stated.
Testicle tanning, Carlson confirmed.
“It’s testicle tanning,” McGovern said, “but it’s also full body red light therapy, which has a massive amount of benefits. And there’s so much data out there, that isn’t being picked up on or covered.”
While Carlson acknowledged how nuts tanning your nuts sounds, he added that “testosterone levels have crashed and nobody says anything about it, that’s crazy, so why is it crazy to seek solutions?”
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